It's not good...

I had a terrible headache yesterday when I left the office. I felt cold sweat while on an aircon bus, seems floating while walking towards the FX station and just had this churning stomach while praying that God gave me power to make it home in right frame. It's not really a good end to a day in Makati. Headache got worst that I was vomiting saliva at the front gate of our house. My knees felt like jellies and my body shaking.

I really thought that things would get better once I ate my dinner, but the headache did not easily went away. And so with me feeling sick and I have to review Jason for his quiz, and guess what, the night did not ended well. I mean, we are back again with me loosing my patience in the whole process of reviewing and teaching the kids. Pls bear with me here, I don't understand how come my 2nd-grader don't know the sequence of the alphabet. Exactly that's what we were studying last night, alphabetizing, and the poor kid is lost from L-Z. My 3 yr old son knows the ABC backwards. Anyway, we just both gave up because it's already past 10pm.

Jerome on the other hand already missed homeworks. This is a repeat of last school year. ANd Justin has his first homework...English book pg 4, which is all about telling name and age. Cute stuff but he won't have any of it. It just don't interest him. Period.

With all kids going to schools in the morning, we are experimneting on our new daily routine. Alarm clock set at 5AM. Nestor gets up first, me and Justin follow who usually wakes up first before his 2 brothers. Jason and Jerome are up at 530. I'll give all three kids a bath while Nestor is preparing breakfast and kids' lunches. If I will go to the office I bathe last. Breakfast at 550, then in the car ready to leave by 6:15. Justin and I will be dropped first, since it is still early for 7AM class, I stay with Justin while Nestor drives the kids to Letran. Then Nestor will pick me up around 7Am and drives me to Cabuyao plant when I need to go to the office. It's a busy morning and Nestor is acting as our anywhere driver.

And this is just the start.

Little Justin Goes to School

My baby Justin's first day of school today. He really wanted to go to school already like his brothers and am glad that he's showing excitement and interest in it. Should I be happy or should I be sad? It's both. I'm happy that at early stage I can see that he will excel in this thing. Why should I say that, the cute guys is just too smart. I didn't saw this potential with my older boys. Honestly and humility aside. He knows the alphabet big and small letters, he knows numbers, colors and shapes. And he knows it however and whichever way you put it. Thanks to all the brainy baby videos and Dora and all those educational VCDs I bought on sale that he'd watch all day, repeatedly. And here's the proud Mommy part...when we brought him to inquire for his school, upon entering the office he noticed the food triangle posted on the wall, he just said "triangle". Then started saying the color in the chart like "red apple". The teacher was so impressed with him that he no longer have to take the entrance exam. He had answer everything the teacher asked him until finally, Teacher Vangie just said " Okay, enroll ka na. NO need for exam. First honor na!" We saved P250 for the registration exam. Isn't it a good start.

Then, just like how I am with my two sons, I am all present on the first day. Justin already know his room so upon stepping out of the car, he proceeded to his room. Took his place or should I say just took everything around him, he took the teacher's aid by hand and call her ate, as if she's her yaya. He's the most talkative in the class, very alert and active. While all the other kids are just sitting, he's up and looking at the educational things inside the class. He gave his false cry when I seated across the other end of him. Then he took photos with my camera, ate his sky flakes, stood up, talked to the aide again. Then I just left the room so that he would behave. From time to time I would peek inside the room and found him playing already with the wood blocks. Yes, he's smart alright but the challenge would be his attention span, following directions and right attitude. He's such a baby. I have the same apprehensions with Jason back then but he did okay.

So, that part makes me happy. What makes me sad? The usual Mommy drama, I guess. This is the start of Jason's venture to the outside world. He will be influenced by outside factors, soon he'll be an independent boy, and I am one old Mommy already. I know I'll get over this stage but like I said, the reality that it seems like a couple of sleeps back when I just held this baby boy in my hands and now... he's in nursery for crying out loud.

So, here's to the nursery days ahead. Just thinking about that I have to teach 3 boys now gives me pressure already. Cheers!

What is Happening To Me?

I think I am in nervous freak out. Really! I'm doing this talk just to ensure that I am still sane. I can't seem to be productive at all. I know I need to do something, finish it so urgently, every minute counts.. and yet I feel paralyzed and can't get myself working. I am afraid that I'll end up a mess with this project. I need a serious dose of wake up call. PLs.. I need to be on my toes... Is this burn out? I need to get out of this. Get me out of this.

In Sydney and Missing Manila

Heya! Here I am in Sydney in a most uncomfortable situation I know related to work. I am here to train my colleagues and do testing on the project I am doing. A bit of hysteria in my mind coz I know that I still have open items to close with them. Also, the schedule tomorrow will really be very hectic with 3 markets already testing. I truly hope that I can get through this "battle" within the 2 weeks that I will be here.

Now, beside the point of my work. I really really miss my family already. I don't usually feel this way on the first day that I am away. It's probably because I know that no one will comfort me when I feel really down due to the stress I am getting from this role. Or it may because working from home everyday for a month and the kids are just a voice away, I really get to the routine of seeing and hearing and cuddling the kids when I need them. It jsut so happen that it is summer vacation and all the kids are at home. We simply have time to be a family even though I am in front of the computer locked in a room most of the time.

I call the bunch when I was settled at my hotel room, and gosh, just hearing their voices makes me want to go back already. Little Justin is still so amazed that he saw a big airplane and he knows that I am riding the plane.

I only pray and pray that I really get through this 2 weeks in one piece physically and mentally and emotionally intact.

Visita Iglesia - The Churches

Without much planning on where or what, we went on visiting old churches in Laguna or “Visita Iglesia”as part of our Lenten observance. We have planned to do this last year but had last minute changes so Nestor have surfed what churches to visit back then. And am so glad that it happened this year. Experience thought us that never to be too certain when travelling with kids, so Nestor and I made it clear from the start that we will only go as far as the time can allow us and no need to pressure ourselves to complete 7 churches. And even though we have the list of churches we don’t really know which will come first. And it was a bit of surprise when we were able to complete 6.

1. San Agustin Parish in Bay (ba-i), Laguna
This was an unexpected stop since it is not in the list. We wanted to go first to the one in Pila but we’ve been travelling for almost an hour already and had never seen one old church. So, on chance driving to the poblacion instead of just driving in the hi-way, we saw this church and just stop seeing it was big, open, there were many people, and it’s old-like.

I don’t know but I feel like that the church is obviously not that old. It just looks like that because there’s the exterior is not painted. Not sure if it’s intentional to get that aged look or still in the process of finishing it. But as can see, there are already plants sprouted on the crevices. That one also I think is all part of the drama as I later thought when I saw the real old churches. Too bad we did not read the church info at the side. The entrance of the church at that time was crowded plus the white board where announcements are posted seems to make the church uninviting. We have not stayed that long to really take in what the whole place can offer. But I can say that it has the quality of old time church and the people manning the parking are very helpful.

2. San Antonio de Padua Church in Pila, Laguna

With entrance facing the plaza and not the street, we could easily passed the church while driving if we did not care to ask beforehand especially with the interesting old hispanic houses on the left side of the street. The church is in the inner corner of the plaza with a school built beside it which I felt totally diminished the structure’s dominant looking exterior.

Old from outside but had a modern look inside. The most dominant feature inside is the very golden altar with an access stairs behind to touch the foot of San Antonio statue. A common Catholic practice just like how Mary touched the foot of Jesus when he was on the cross. Of course the whole family did it. I read somewhere that the relic of San Antonio de Padua is kept in a glass casing at the back of church but we did not saw it. It is one nice old church which the community has kept very well.

3. Immaculate Conception Parish Church in Santa Cruz, Laguna

Just like the common setting in the countryside, the church is located in the same area as the main plaza and the municipal hall. I was excited to see this church when I spotted it from outside. It was quite big and have walls that resembles like Intramuros. It’s a big one though from the outside but kind of small when you get inside. Small parking at the front of the church is also deceiving the spaciousness of the whole place. No photos of the altar as most of the statues are covered. There are many colorful saint statues inside that I think were used or will be used in procession since it's in the caravan and decorated. I like the glass murals and old pictures hanging in selected places around the church. But what I like most is the baptismal area.

Maybe because we were there near 12 noon and stomachs are grumbling that’s why we haven’t really explored much of the church.

4. Pagsanjan Church in Pagsanjan, Laguna

Home of Our Lady of Guadalupe, this is a beautiful church currently being renovated. Renovation is good but in an old and historical church like this, I would have preferred to do restoration. It’s sad to say that the way it’s being remodeled for it to continue to be usable makes it rather loose it’s dramatic aura of being - - old. Hopefully, it didn’t turn out to be so modern.

Over-all, I like the big cross on the ceiling that spans the whole length of the inside of the structure although it’s rather modern. There are many features in this church, like the adoration chapel which is the one currently being renovated. It made me sad that slowly being gone are the old bricks used in this church and being replaced by the cement. The walls have the lapida of the many people who were part of the early history of the churh – many Spanish sounding names. There is a newly constructed cave-like station of the cross and colorful religious murals.

5. Santa Magdalena Parish in Magdalena, Laguna

Very big and commanding I like this church. Maybe because the space in front allows me to really take in the beauty that it has. The pair of wide stairs that slightly wider at the bottom and tapered at the top and are gracefully sided with balustrade. Those are strategically located at both the main entrance and secondary door of the church and seem like inviting me to take either of each to the inside. The main door has a big hinges that is both decorative and functional. Santa Magdalena is carved at the top part of the wooden door. All the walls are made of stone from top to bottom. In between the big and well spaced posts are simple windows with wooden shutters. Even the station of the cross fixtures on the wall are also aged. The altar is simple in its small dome highlighted with an arched with gold accents. Just right to make you focus on praying and not on the surrounding. The preaching balcony (whatever it is called) is such already a missing feature in modern churches so it delights me to see one here. The right wing houses the adoration chapel or probably used for wakes. Its walls have niches of saints.

From doors to walls and all the little original details inside the stone walls of this church evokes a sense of warmth, peace and security within me.

6. St. Gregory Parish Church in Majayjay, Laguna

This church is a real old one just from looking at the façade. The originality of the materials used to build it is still intact. Obviously though, some part of the structure especially the roofing on the right wing needs repair. Other than that, this church is a keeper.

I like the originality of the doors which is a reminiscence of the grandness of that era. Upon entering the door, I first noticed the enormous feature in the left that looks like a close up of a tip of a big torch with the bottom ends just before it reaches the top of man’s head when standing. It is actually part of the balcony that surrounds the whole perimeter of the church ending just before the altar. Very tall ceilings with midway window alcove that let in just enough light and air on the place adds a bit of the drama. The bronze and gold trimmed altar is as tall and big as it could get with several niches for the saint’s statues. There is another balcony up above it. Chandeliers light the whole interiors. I think the upper portion wall of the church is already renovated because I don’t see the touch of the stones used in the ground floor portion. Real or not, it’s still good to look at.

Outside the right entrance is equally well kept. There is a pair of old trees that look like giant-bonsai. And then, there’s the back of the belfry where a Lourdes stands on the bottome corner and a one big reminder for all of church-goers and passers-by. Let’s pray the rosary.

It’s not really a serious visita iglesia in which we pray the novena for each patron saint of the church we visit. We said our personal prayers in each church and that’s it. The rest is like looking back at history, taking in the sight, photo taking and a time to be just family.

Disclaimer: I may have sound a times negative on my observations on this historical and sacred places, but this is all just a comment coming from a very untrained eyes of an expectator. Peace!

Oh, What a March it has been!

Like the real trooper that I am, it's almost mid April and yet I am still blogging to wrap up March. I really want it to be for the record since it was indeed one challenging, tiring and yet rewarding month for me. It's also special because it's my b-day month. Here's the run-down. Each event I may or may not blog the details in the future.

Week 1

• March 4 - Kids final exam and start of the school break. Weeks earlier than most schools. Needles to say, my boys are all hyped up for the endless PSP days ahead.
• March 5 - Letran Foundation day. My boys have to go back to attend this event. Jason joined one of the games which their team did not won. They have some funfare and a mini carnival as part of the activities. Justin and I were able to have a glimpse of the preparation a day before when we drove the kids to the school.
• Weekend - took time to do small stuff decorating around the house. Summer purging begun.

Week 2

• March 9-13 official start of the SIT of my project although I already started since last week, endless nights of testing than I ever imagined. A full week of work work work. There are times when I went to bed at 4am.
• March 13- A new laptop, yehey...it can never come in a much better time that this time. I was doing SIT testing in SAP while around 20 other files open,man, my old laptop was just too slow and I'm afraid that I wouldn't get far at that rate. But I got a new one, thanks goodness!
• March 13-14- new sofas and bed frame, SM Makati had a sale then when we went (was there for 2 consecutuve days). I've been looking for months for the replacement of our sofa which has seen better days and am so happy I finally found that fits what I want in color, form and most of all budget. We got it at 20%off. Not bad. The bed frame was another story. We got it at half the price on a modus operandi which I don't want to elaborate because am a bit ashamed that I let myself to be part of it.
• March 13 - bought a phone with headset to use for my telecon at home- convenient.

Week 3

• March 16-20 - whole week vigil on SIT again. Worst week I ever experienced on a project.

Week 4

• March 23 - Letran recognition day. My boy Jerome was recognized for his participation in the field demo competion where they emerged champion both in division and city levels.
• March 25 - my b-day, took a leave from work to freshen my mind and feel that it's my special day. I don't want to be stressed with testing issues. We went to SM las Pinas, Jerome and Jason tried the ice skating with free coupon I got last December. Paid shoes for Php100. They really had a good time that an hour seems very short.
• March 25 - I bought a laser printer as part of my WFH facilities.
• And then as if blessings not enough, I have a fast laptop, a new printer but my internet connection is either via the WeROam or Smart Bro which basically have an okay speed. It concerns me when I’m in the middle of the testing and the connection is so slow, have to call the call center a couple of times. They made adjustment but the hassle of calling and the uncertainity of my connection is not ideal for my wfh situation. Out of the blue, on March 25, I received a call from PLDT DSL installer, they will install my WFH DSL which I have applied for on Dec. Wow, blessings they come apouring and on my birth-month.
• MArch 28-29 - went to QC to my in-laws to celebrate my MIL's b-day even if she's in US. Went to Trinoma and bought new shower curtains and bath mats. I don't like Trinoma's layout but I like the merchandise in Landmark.

Blessings I thank for in no particular order:

1. new laptop

2. kids on school break

3. new sofa and bed

4. Jerome's recognition for good dancing

5. work from home is both a blessing and a pain – I can’t control myself working until late nights but also I find it really helpful that I don’t need to go to the office anymore. I’m liking it really. The kids are also getting used to me being at home and when I close the door of the room they know that I am working, just like in the office. Justin is one hard to handle though. When he wants to enter the room and it’s locked, he’ll start banging the door.

6. 37th b-day

7. wfh facilities, printer, phone with headset to ease my long telecons and new electric fan. Summer is here.

8. the opportunity to see the kids everyday enjoying the summer

9. Jerome and Jason are wonder eaters, they are relly packing on weight especially Jason who has bigger tummy relative to his built than Jerome. The legs of Jerome are really something.

10. so happy me and Nestor are in good terms

So, here's goes my March in a nutshell.

@ 37

Was it been that long? 37 long or short years of my life. This is not like a twilight year for me, but am now in a stage or age when I scale back on my life, where moments and life are abound me more than the material stuffs. I don't usually celebrate bigtime during my birthday. Very seldom in fact that I went through the fuss of the birthday preparation. Probably that's why I can remember a few that seems different or something "happening" on the standards of my birthday celebrations.

1. On my 13th birthday, my Auntie Luz who also is my ninang treated me to a James Bond movie in the famous and posh QUAD theatre in Makati. The movie - A View to A Kill. It's a turning point for me, I met the sultry Kim Basinger and the very exotic and interesting character Grace Jones. I don't know what happened but after that I became more interested in watching foreign movies than locals and I love Hollywood stargazing-in mags. My mother is amazed on how I knew a lot of foreign artists. Going back to my 13th b-day, after the movie my Aunt took me to National Bookstore which is just beside the theater and asked me to get what I want. Of all the pretty and cute things I saw around me - note, going to NB and Makati was a new thing for me- I chose a pocketbook on sale - if I remember it right - it costs Php11 back in 1985. I could have chosen the pretty musical box or the lovely stationeries or a Hello Kitty wallet, but I went to the pile of bargain books in the middle of the store and chose a book about a twin sisters where one is disable and pretty while the other is plain and responsible. And that was another transition for me. That summer I spent more time reading pocketbooks and whenever I look back and tried to remember why I do love to read - that moment when I chose an old and cheap pocketbook for my 13th b-day is always the very first memory that would come to mind.


2. My 18th b-day. My sister gave a surprise debut party for me. Very very plain and trying hard party compare to the debuts of the richies but you know what, I appreciate my sister Nene for coming out with a treat like that. She dressed me up with her brown slacks and while 3/4 sleeves with turtleneck blouse. I was really very uncomfortable then dancing with all the guys in the party, supposed to be my 18 dance but I don't remember anymore if there it really came to that number. Most of my visitors were actually friends of my sister, because it was a surprise so I was not able to invite my friends. Anyway, that was my 18th b-day.


3. My 25th b-day. The first time I would celebrate my birthday that I have a boyfriend. But the twist of fate, we quarreled 2 weeks before that and have never talked to each other. Then at 12 midnight of my b-day, he called me on the phone to greet. It was supposed to be a move from him to mend things but I was still angry then. Then, that morning in the office I saw him and another girl officemate, a close friend of us, eating breakfast together. He fethced the girl on the way to the office. No, it was not meant to hurt me. The girl asked him if she can have a ride para mauwi sa kanila the company products I think that she bought in the company sale. He called me that night for a raincheck before saying yes to the girl. Anyway, what it was for me, I felt for the first time that I was jealous. I treated my officemates to an ice cream but he jsut ignored it. That day I also talked to him and opened up everything while crying until my eyes puffed. What was supposed to be an eventful day was really eventful in not so good way.


4. My 26th b-day. My friends hand I have an overnight swimming party in an exclusive resort in Calamba. I brought the food and my friends shared on the venue rental. That night I got drunked to jelly. I vomited while taking a shower and I can't control what I am saying. My friends have all sort of accounts of what I said that night and I just have to laugh. The morning after was the biggest headache I can remember I experienced. The takeaway - I never tried to get drunk ever again. I drink sip now and then but never all the way.


5. My 28th b-day. I was pregnant with Jerome and was in a jolly heavenly stage of honeymoon.


6. My 29th b-day, I have a baby.


7. I really don't remember anything distinct from then upto now...


8. My 37th b-day. In the middle of the chaos of my work, I dare took a break. My family went to SM Las Pinas initially to use the ice skating coupons I have. We ate at Sbarro, Jerome and Jason had a good time at the skates, I bought laser printer for my home office, Justin had a great time at the inflatable play pen,we looked around for a mattress then the kids and I hang out at video games while Nestor did the grocery.

The morning after we sung happy birthday and ate my cake at breakfast.

I live for this kind of celebration, of moments...real life...no artificial trimmings.

Cheers to a longer life and more real moments!!!